If you’ve ever hired the wrong person and wondered how it all went so wrong, you’re not alone.
In fact, recruitment has a lot in common with dating — and many of the mistakes employers make are surprisingly similar.
At first, everything looks great on paper. There’s excitement, optimism, and a strong desire for things to work out. But without clarity, honesty and alignment, it can quickly become a costly mismatch.
In dating, we all know first impressions count — but they don’t tell the whole story. Recruitment is the same.
A polished CV, confident interview style or impressive job title doesn’t always reflect how someone will perform day‑to‑day, or how they’ll fit into your team.
The risk: Hiring based on surface-level chemistry rather than real alignment.
What works better: Look beyond the highlight reel. Ask behavioural questions, explore values, and dig into how the person works — not just what they’ve done.
In dating, pretending to be someone you’re not rarely ends well. Overselling a role or glossing over challenges can have the same effect in recruitment.
If the role is fast‑paced, ambiguous, or requires long hours at certain times — say so. If growth opportunities are limited in the short term — be upfront.
The risk: Candidates accept roles based on expectations that don’t match reality.
What works better: Clear, honest conversations about the role, the business and what success actually looks like.
We’ve all been there — you notice something that doesn’t quite sit right, but you explain it away because you really want things to work.
In recruitment, red flags often show up early: vague answers, reluctance to take feedback, inconsistency in stories, or misalignment with your values.
The risk: Hiring with your heart because you’re under pressure to fill the role.
What works better: Trust your instincts and your process. A delayed hire is usually less costly than a bad one.
A successful relationship isn’t just about being liked — it’s about compatibility. The same applies at work.
You don’t need everyone to be best friends, but you do need shared expectations around communication, accountability and behaviour.
The risk: Hiring someone because they feel “nice” or familiar, without considering how they’ll operate in your environment.
What works better: Hire for values alignment and role fit, not just personality.
Getting someone to say “yes” isn’t the end of the story — in dating or recruitment.
Onboarding, feedback, support and development are the equivalents of showing up, communicating and investing in the relationship.
The risk: Assuming a great hire will automatically work out.
What works better: Strong onboarding, regular check‑ins and clear expectations from day one.
Recruitment, like dating, works best when there’s honesty, clarity and mutual commitment. Rushing the process, ignoring red flags or overselling the opportunity often leads to disappointment — and costly breakups.
Taking a more thoughtful, values‑based approach helps you build longer‑lasting employment relationships that work for both sides.
If you’d like help refining your recruitment approach — from attraction to onboarding — the Aster HR team is here to help.
